His name is Leeroy Jenkins

Pulling into the convention center, we spotted a huge line winding its way around the street and into the parking lot itself. We felt immensely relieved that we decided to get our tickets the day before, but the relief masked fear, like seeing a car smashed in the highway and thinking, That could have been me. The Long Beach Convention Center's arena grew taller upon our approach, and at its base milled hundreds of anime fans posing, taking pictures--a couple even doing a para para dance. Failing to find anything substantially amusing, we went ahead and got tickets for the opening ceremony. Charlie had no interest in the ceremony, so got in line for the dealer's room to get a leg-up above the crowd. Unlike yesterday, there was no line at all, so we walked right into the stadium and grabbed a few seats.

Not long after we sat down, the lights dimmed, the audience cheered, and a series of spots came up to reveal a podium standing stage left of an enormous table covered with microphones. Someone representing the AX staff came up to the podium and began outlining the events. It was a bit dull, but things picked up when he started introducing the guests of honor. Apparently, the voice actresses of the S.O.S. squad from The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya were going to be coming, but there plane didn't arrive yet from Japan. In there place was a neat little short with them, the characters from the anime, apologizing for not coming sooner. During the introduction for each seiyuu (voice actor), the representative and video crew kept missing their cues, so the speaker kept getting interrupted by the introductions and visa versa. The ceremony got back on track quickly, and they introduced the voice actor Mary McGlynn, who's the voice for countless characters, including Major Kusanagi from Ghost in the Shell. Then came the Japanese ska band, Oreskaband, who each said a few words about themselves in the cutest Engrish I ever heard. The other guests were great as well, including Anna Tsuchiya (J-pop, themes for NANA), Chiaki Ishikawa (theme for Gundam SEED), Halko Momoi (Queen of Akihabara, insanely cute), Eisaku Inoue (animation director for One Piece), Masaru Kitao (character designer for Death Note), Tetsuro Araki (director of Death Note), and Michael Arias (software designer for Studio Ghibli). After all the J-pop artists and singers, the guys seemed a little nervous--maybe a little unused to being center of attention. However, Eisaku received thunderous applause when he said (and this is paraphrased), "I heard that One Piece in America has been edited beyond the original work. I'm going to make it right, and that is the main reason why I'm here."

After all the guests of honor took their places at the big table, we had a special demonstration by an animation and voice acting school visiting from Japan. The professor set up a few of his students on stage with a couple microphones in front of a video monitor. On screen they played a piece from an animation student, and they did the voice acting live on stage. Unfortunately, they had to stop the demonstration when they realized the monitor wasn't working. The actors moved to the audience to try and use the big screens we watched instead, but the stage monitor worked again by the time the professor set up his students in the bleachers. Finally, they got back on stage and gave an amusing performance. Once the group walked off stage, the opening ceremony concluded with Eisaku drawing an eye on a daruma doll for good luck. As it turned out, the entire class of 200 Japanese students was going to hold an interactive voice-acting demonstration, so we followed them on the way out of the arena. We weren't sure where everyone was going at first, so Katie spoke with some of the students in Japanese and found out they were heading to the convention hall for the demo. It was neat hearing all the students talk among each other, even though I had no idea what they were saying. I'm sure many of them haven't been to the 'States before--I wonder what there impression was? The answer became even more uncertain when I heard a fit of gasps and giggling. Katie pointed out that Man-Faye was walking not far ahead of us. Like someone told there was a bloody car-wreck, I craned my neck around and, sure enough, met the sight of a hairy ass in way-too-tight yellow booty-shorts. I think I have erectile dysfunction now.

We entered the convention hall from Artist's Alley, though very few artists were set up quite yet. I saw a giant mask of Richard C. Mongler propped up on a table and snagged a photo of it before moving along. A plethora of cosplayers were walking around us, but I try to limit photographs strictly to either extremely good costumes or obscure web-comic references. When we got to the top of the stairs just before the voice-acting panel room, I saw Pantsman and Dr. McNinja. I managed to get a picture of Pants-man, but I had to chase down the illusive Dr. McNinja before getting a shot. I met up with Dustin and Katie at the voice-acting panel, which began promptly. The professors introduced themselves in Japanese while a translator, well, translated. Again, the students went first to warm up, then we all got into groups according to which character we wanted to voice. Katie went ahead and joined Chibi's group, Dustin with the principal the ruffian, and I teamed up with "big-eater," as the name translates. I managed to get some video of us screaming our lungs out at the screens. We did several sessions, each time the professor gave us helpful tips on how to improve and make our performance dynamic. His explanations, though in Japanese, came out just as animated as the video they had running. He seemed like a fun teacher to have.

Coming out of the room, a revelation hit us all--we're starving. Dustin, Katie, and I followed the crowd out the convention center and towards nourishment. I saw a guy dressed as Kaneda standing at the bottom of the stairs, so, in the best Tetsuo voice I could muster, I shouted "KANEDAAAAAAA," then asked him for a pic. Across the street from us was "The Pike," which had a Borders, movie theater, and various eating establishments. Somehow we gravitated towards Jake's Wings--probably because it was right in front of us--and waited in line for awhile.
The menu choices were oddly captivating--nacho wings, for example. I decided to be a little daring and ordered the PB&J wings, which were covered in peanuts and served with jalapeno jelly dip. In the spirit of celebration, I was in the mood to have some beer, so I looked over the cashier's shoulder at their selection. My intention was to go for something I couldn't get in Maryland, like a true, local micro-brewed beer. All such thoughts were cast aside when I saw Arrogant Bastard Ale. My order placed, they gave me a huge frosted mug and the bottle of ale; it looked smaller from a distance. The place was packed, but luckily someone had just left before I finished my order, so I grabbed the table and called Dustin and Katie over. We marveled at the bottle before us, standing at 1 pint 6 oz. I poured the dark concoction into the mug and gave it a try--it was strong and bitter as anything. I started making my criticisms, when Katie read the back aloud. There's a note on the bottom, which reads, "Questions or comments? If you don't like this beer, keep it to yourself --- we don't want to hear from any snivveling yellow-beer-drinkin' wimps, 'cause this beer wasn't made for you." I just bit the bullet and finished off the whole bottle before my food came. To make things interesting, I didn't eat anything except for a few crackers that morning, so I got pleasantly buzzed. There was a girl dressed up as Ness waiting in line, so I got her picture real quick before sitting back down. As it turned out, she was hanging out with Katie's friend Buck, who came to our table for a chat. We had a few good laughs, especially when I found out that he frequented 4chan. I asked him if he was going to crash the Gaia Online meeting at AX (Gaia Online and /b/tards don't mix); he said he might, but the pool at the Hyatt was definitely going to be closed. The food finally came and we were all pretty confused. Jake's menu separates its "original" wings from the "boneless" wings, so we all assumed they would have bones. Instead, the wings were boneless and gigantic. I immediately regretted getting chicken chili nachos on the side. I got pretty full really fast, and I was still a little tipsy from the ale. I ended up walking around the con with a bag of food for quite a time before I gave up and threw it away (the PB&J wings were good as long as there was sauce, but that ran out quick).

Having eaten our fill, we walked back to the con to enjoy some of the events. Katie and I went to check out the dealer's room, and Dustin hit up the showing of Wild Arms. There was no line to the dealer's room, so we walked right into a gigantic open area. The stores were very spaced out, so there was plenty of space to meander--might explain the lack of a line in the front. The merchandise was a little cheaper than at Otakon, probably because it has to travel less between Japan and the Californian coast. Also, some of the booths went all out and had entire scenes from anime on display, like life-sized dioramas; there was an alright One Piece scene, but the beset was for Hellsing, and they had cosplayers posing for pictures inside it. Otherwise, it was the usual fare that you would see at any other convention: art books, animation cells, collectible figures, swords, goggles, t-shirts, tails... The only major difference was in the layout: it was incredibly spacious, and there was literally a giant cube of t-shirts that you could walk inside. I did come across the Red vs. Blue booth and got a copy of Trocadero's Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue autographed by Grif and Tex. It was kinda neat seeing this little slice of Grif's life as he watched his daughter play around the booth, seeing her grow up little by little. Before that, I found a booth selling some gauntlets and tails. I was tempted to get a tail, but I thought they were too short. Later on, Katie found a booth that sold longer tails. When I got there, I saw a few custom tails getting sown, as well as photos of face painting and other photos to suggest that the booth operators were furries. I asked the woman at the booth if they were going to Anthrocon in a few days--she said no, but her husband is going to hit FurtherConfusion later, so my guess was confirmed. Hoping not to risk further temptation, I went ahead and made my way to Artists Alley.

Oh, here's another big difference between Otakon and AX: I had no idea where I was most of the time. It took me about ten minutes to get out of the dealer's room alone; the entrance was blocked off to anyone trying to exit. Even when I got outside, I couldn't figure out how to get to Artists Alley. The Long Beach Convention Center is made up of several huge buildings, including an arena, a theater, and an exhibition hall--not to mention events held in local hotels as well. After wandering around for a little while, I ran into three guys dressed as Spartans from 300. They weren't walking statues like the guys in the movie but definitely worthy of wearing the Spartan's crimson and bronze. After taking their picture, I gave 'em a quick, "What's your profession again?" before leaving. I walked up to the street, then back down the stairs before getting turned around by a security guard who told me where I could find all the artists. Finally, I was making some progress.

I was getting more than a little frustrated at this point. My laptop case was threatening to take my arm off, the heat was getting to me, and I was mostly lost. Also, I was still lugging around a bag with lots of food left over from Jake's Wings. Part of me wanted to share it with some of the starving artists at Artists Alley; it could offer a great chance to sit around and hang out with fellow artists, but I decided against it--no one deserved the burden of three-hour old soggy chips and chicken. Finally, I reached the entrance to the complete other side of the convention center (several blocks away) and started walking around the tables. Every artist there had a variety of goodies on display. Some had posters, pins, drawings, commission fliers, everything. There was one table, though, that caught my attention. One of my objectives at the con was to get an autograph from the creator of Left and Right, but I had no idea what he looked like or what to expect. However, only two guys were sitting at the table, one with a laptop and tablet, the other with a sketch pad--no more, no less. I had a feeling the guy with the laptop was the one I was looking for, but filled with uncertainty, I went ahead and checked out the other tables. On the walk back towards the front, I caught a glimpse of the artist's computer screen and saw an orange, three-panel comic field. Bingo. I went back around and asked if he was the creator of Left and Right, and, very surprised, he said yes--he probably didn't expect many people to come by. I went ahead and struck up a conversation, asking him to doodle on the back of my card. Also, just as I thought, the guy next to him with the sketchpad was MOMO, the creator of U.F.O. I knew he was going to be at the convention, however his website didn't say where he was going to be. He doodled on the back of my badge as well, and once all was said and done, I said bye and went to go wander a bit more.

I needed something to drink badly, so I hit The Pike once more for a large soda. Afterwards, some con-goers had just left an outdoor table that I quickly occupied. I gave my old wings and chips one last chance; after one bite they went into the trash. The breeze winding between the stores felt great, so I simply soaked in the sites and sounds for a little bit until I got a phone call. Pete, our friend from Maryland, was originally going to be driving us to California, but he had heart surgery not long before our planned departure date. Like us, this didn't stop him from going to California and he flew down with his father instead. He told me a few days prior that the goa trance band Infected Mushroom would be playing this weekend, but we had no idea when or where. However, while I was sitting at a nice table outside of a random pizza place, he told me: the Electric Daisy Carnival, on Saturday. I was glad to hear this, since I was worried that I'd miss out on AX's dance party. I got off the phone when Dustin called, telling me to line up for the anime music video contest before it was too late. The walk over to the line was short, but the line wasn't--the queue stretched about as far as the one for registration. When I came upon my crew, Dustin was sprawled out and staring at the sky while Katie was chatting with old friends. Charlie and his friends were playing some Uno, and Buck, Tami (Ness from earlier) and their friends were mingling with Katie and Charlie. Tami asked if I wanted in for the next game of Uno, referring to me as "Goggle Lord" for the pair of goggles I had perched on my forehead. I played for a little bit until I was the second to win. After that, I pulled out my laptop along with the WACOM tablet and started drawing a bit. Dustin cursed me as he took out his own sketch pad, saying that I had unleashed the suck. Buck joined in the action as well, drawing Moot from 4chan. Tami started drawing once she got rid of her Uno cards, making a great sketch. She let me keep the drawing, which I put in my computer bag. Unfortunately, my tablet died, so I switched into all-range mode and started playing Starfox 2 on the zSNES emulator. The game was never released, and for good reason. Not only did they decide to devote development to Starfox 64, but the game just didn't feel like the first game at all. It was a combination of Starfox Command and being stuck permanently in first-person/all-range mode; it lost the arcade quality. Meanwhile, Tami started drawing again, this time making funny random doodles. Soon afterwards Matt and Robert pulled out their laptops and began prominently displaying the funniest and worst pictures 4chan had to offer. Time was slipping by, and before we knew it, the sky started getting dark. Apparently, the SKIN concert ran over time, so instead of getting seated at 7:00pm, we entered the arena at around 9:00pm. How could it get any worse?

Here's how: someone stole the AMV contest master DVD. Of course, we didn't find this out until after sitting around in the stadium for another half-hour. At least Dustin kept me entertained--I started doodling random stuff on the back of the AMV ballot while he told me what to draw. We ended up with a hairy guy in a robotic snorkel mask swimming around toxic waste in his underwear while reading the paper. WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE?! Needless to say, the doodle scared Katie. When the convention administrator came on to tell us the bad news, we were all far from amused. In the end, we watched the AmTV category--which I still don't know what it stands for--along with a few other, random videos. Fortunately, the videos were pretty funny and the sound in the arena roared beautifully. One music video was for the song Code Monkey, which decently describes Dustin. When all the videos ended, Dustin, Katie, and I met up with Charlie to drop our stuff off in his car and go to the dance. Things got a little confusing, however: Dustin strained his leg from sitting in line for too long, so he was limping all over the place and in no condition to dance. While trying to figure out the ride situation at Charlie's car, we went through several possibilities and ideas that ultimately led to Charlie taking his friends home and then coming back for us. After he left, I went with Dustin and Katie to find food.

Most of the restaurants were either closed or closing when we got to The Pike. The only places still open were a pizza place called Extreme Pizza and a Dave-and-Buster's-type place called Game Works. We got in line for pizza when I ran into David again from the other day. We had a short chat, but then he left soon afterwards with his friends. Katie found a nice, comfortable table and fell asleep while Dustin and I waited for food. After standing around for a while, I got a little antsy. I felt the need for a tasty alcoholic beverage more so than actual food, so I kept playing around with the idea of going over to Game Works. Finally, I just said, "Alright let's do this!" and ran out of the pizza place yelling, "LEEROOOOOOOOOOOY JENKIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!" I found out later that Dustin did, in fact, say, "Oh my God he just left," like in the video. When I got to the Game Works across the street, I was completely geared up and ready for a stiff drink. They let me in, but, unlike D&B's, there's a cover charge that goes towards a $12 game card. I went ahead and paid the cover, b-lined it to the bar and ordered two mojitos (not at once, gawd). After drinking the minty-goodness, I decided to try and expend my game card as quickly as possible. I played a few shooters, then got inside a VR go-cart game that actually throws you around every which way. Mojitos and dramatically over-driven physics engines don't mix. Dustin gave me a call not long afterwards and let me know that Charlie was on his way back. Since we weren't going dancing, I jumped onto the DDR machine and played a couple songs before heading out. By the time I met up with Dustin and Katie, though, I found out that Charlie actually hadn't left yet, but was just leaving from Torrance down to Long Beach where we were. Seeing a window of opportunity, I once again exclaimed, "LEEROOOOOOOOOOOY JENKIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!" and ran over to the Renaissance Hotel where the dance was held. When I got into the room, I was a little disappointed. They were playing primarily industrial rock as opposed to electronica, and from a play list instead of doing a live set like a Katsucon. Also, the room was a bit small, but despite the large number of con-goers to AX, there were barely any at the dance. I made the most of it, jumping around like an idiot as gracefully as I could. I even joined in a big train led by Cloud that ran around the room. When I got the call that Charlie had finally arrived, I had no problem leaving the dance.

Anime Expo was pretty neat overall. The convention has a multitude of interactive events and panels, as well as some of the best cosplayers in the world. Their guests were definitely higher-key than the ones at Otakon, and the venue was huge. However, on the whole, I would rather go to Otakon; it feels like a big convention because everyone is crammed into one place, which also forces the con-goers to make a more personal connection with others. Dustin and I both agreed that, had we gone to California just for AX we'd be disappointed. Ultimately, because we only paid $25 for one day and had plenty else to do in California, we had a blast.